Monday, January 28, 2008

The 'I' Word


It sucks.

My mom just gasped at me using that word, but there's no other word for it.

It took us a year and a half and some fertility drugs to get pregnant with Mara Lin, and the same fertility drugs to get pregnant with Emily. Becca was a total God thing and the best surprise I've ever gotten.

Now, about five years after our first fertility struggle, I find myself in the exactly same place. And the surprising part is that it doesn't hurt any less this time.

In fact it might hurt more just because it hurts now, and 'now' hurts hurt more than 'then' hurts.



Missy said...

Hey Carrie. Found your blog through Bloggy Giveaways. Have to agree with ya there. We just brought home our first baby after alotta years of infertility. Thanks for being real!

Jessica said...

So sorry that y'all are having to deal with this! It does suck.. though I only dealt with it for a short 8 mo. I do remember some good advice... just enjoy your husband and let God take care of the rest. I'll be praying for you!

Chelle said...

We love you girl. Call if you need to get some coffee.

Sue said...

Believe it or not Carrie, I struggled to get pregnant. We had three kids and it took five years to have our fourth. I should mention that my next 4 were all born before that my fourth was 6 years old. Infertility is a real issue and people will say at least you have three but that doesn't stop the hurt of wanting another. Good luck.

not up to code said...

It sounds like a cliche until you have experienced it personally but God's timing is perfect. I am just a few years down the road with my family, whose timing was not my own, and I can testify to just how perfect God's timing is.

Lesley said...

Hey,I have had a couple of surpises but had to use meds for Caleb. Our family is clinging to this truth. I hope it encourages you. Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Love ya!

HolyMama! said...

I'm so sorry. Your children are so beautiful. I'm praying now for another God surprise like Becca.

Heidi said...

I'm praying for you friend. Love you! I'm here for a hug. Romans 8:28

ginny said...

My prayers are with you, friend. I haven't personally had to deal with this, but have seen the hurt from close friends who have.

Amanda said...

Hey Carrie, don't let anyone tell you that you should be just satisfied with what children you have. Children are a blessing from the Lord and it's pleasing to Him to desire His bountiful blessings - in His will and His timing. You're in my prayers! God bless you for desiring to serve God as a mother.

Anonymous said...

Hey Carrie,
Sorry I wasn't aware that you guys were trying again. I'll pray for you. It is hard and sometimes using the words "this sucks" help us deal with it.

It's been almost a year and a half since we were rushed through our adoption ppwk for our 2nd child...and obviously, that placement didn't work out. At times, I was grateful for the delay because I didnt' feel prepared. But now, it's getting harder. And the hardest part is when Karli gets sad about it and cries or asks, "When am I gonna have a baby brother?"

But I can tell you this--some of the sweetest moments I have shared with my daughter are when we talk about this and pray together. I don't think you need to share all the details with your girls (we don't share them all w/Karli of course.) But, it's okay to tell your kids when you're sad and ask them to pray with you. And I think it gives them insight into how we take our feelings to God and get through the tough times.

love ya friend,

Alice Gunther said...

I completely, completely, completely understand. Praying for you through the intercession of St. Padre Pio.