I think I've mentioned before how strong-willed Emily is.....yes, maybe here and here and here too....oooo, and here's even a picture of a strong-willed episode.
Ok, so we've already established that she is strong-willed and a little difficult to live with. The problem is that a lot of parents use the 'strong-willed' thing as a cop out for disobedience and disrespect. Emily is strong-willed, but she does not run our household or get away with disobedience.
We have had to be creative with consequences and requests though. For example, spanking just succeeds is making her really mad and does not discourage wrong-doing. Time-out however is magic. We also have to be careful 'telling' her to do something. If I say "Emily, pick your toys up." She says, "No." But if I say, "Emily, I bet you can pick these toys up really fast." She says, "I bet I can." Now, she doesn't get away with the "No" without some consequences, but life is so much quieter if I remember how to ask her to do things!
The thing that has been working so well lately is "Deal?" Whenever I ask any of the girls to do something (or not do something) I like a "Yes, ma'am" in response. It helps me know that they heard me, and it helps them know that I mean business. Emily hates saying 'yes, ma'am' though. So, what works great with her is "Deal?" For example.....
Me: Emily, I need you to go potty so we can go play outside. Deal?
Emily: Deal!
I'm not sure how long this will work with her but for now "Deal?" works for me! Oh ya, and it's pretty funny when she pulls a "No deal" every now and then!
For more Works for me Wednesday go here.
10 comments:
What a great idea. I think my strong willed three year old will think "Deal?" is fun too.
What beautiful girls! I had three girls first and LOVED it! Great blog!
I love the "Deal?" idea! Right after "I Love You" my favorite phrase to hear is "Yes, Mommy!"
You really get a sneak peek into the personality differences with your girls. We expect our girl and boy to be so different (and they are) and I think we take for granted all the personality differences because of the gender differences.
This is so funny! "Deal!" is working right now with my daughter, too. I love it, because it fosters a sense of teamwork between the two of us. Thanks for sharing!
I feel so much joy when I hear succesful parenting techniques that are not hurtful. Thank you for sharing! Great job, Momma!
Martie
Oh I really like that! I'll have to try it - I'm getting so tired of having to repeat myself when I'm pretty sure they heard me to begin with... Thanks for the tip! :)
Hmmmm, I wonder where she gets that strong will?
I love that you are working with her personality and not trying to grind it out of her. I wish more parents would be like that.
It's beautiful when a child grows up to be a woman who knows exactly what she wants, and what she doesn't--who stands for what she believes in and falls for nothing.
That's awesome!! I think THAT will work for my strong willed 9 year old..my strong willed 8 year old...and even my strong willed 5 year old ;)
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