New Territory

Mara: Mom, can you buy me some perfume?

Me: Why do you want perfume?

Her: Because perfume makes boys come around you.

Me: (After choking on my coffee.) Do you want boys to come around you?

Her: Yes.

Me: Why?

Her: So I can get a boyfriend.

Me: (After being revived from cardiac arrest.) Why do you want a boyfriend?

Her: So we can fall in love, get married, and have kids. I want to manage my own family when I grow up. (She really used those words.)

Oh. Sweet. Mercy.

I do believe I have a tween on my hands. That makes my blood pressure go up, my palms sweaty, and my prayer life more active than ever before.

I want so desperately to teach her that beauty comes from inside, and that nothing is more beautiful than a girl running after God with everything she is. And the world will contradict both of those definitions of beauty.

Lord, help me protect, teach, love, discipline, and raise up these young women. I'm feeling overwhelmed right now and honestly down right scared. Lord, thank you for loving my girls more than I do. Please protect and raise up Godly husbands for each of them.

Mercy, I need some more coffee!

Radical Faith = Radical Commitments

I have recently read the book Radical by David Platt. Our entire church read the book along with a six-week sermon and small group series. To say that it has changed my life is an understatement. It has changed they way that I look at everything in life.

Two weeks ago my family made five commitments.

1. Read through the entire Word.
This is probably the commitment that scared me the most. My four children make it difficult to spend any length of time in a 'quiet time'. I've found a couple of devotional books designed specifically for moms with small children and they were working for me...but now I've just made the commitment to read the entire bible in a year...that's about five chapters a day. Eleven days into it now, I'm loving it. My children interrupt some days more than others, but it's working.

2. Pray for the entire World.
We're doing this through Operation World. I love reading about specific things that I can pray for each country. The girls are also starting to ask each night at bedtime, "Mama, what country are we praying for today?"

3. Sacrifice our money for a specific purpose.
This is the one that we had to really brainstorm about. The word "sacrifice" kept giving me trouble. We can decide to give a certain about of money to a number of great charities, but where's the sacrifice. You know....the bills are paid for the month, this much is left over, so let's give it here. Not really a sacrifice. So we decided to first, not go grocery shopping for one week each month. It's amazing how many suppers and lunches you can make when you think you have no food in the house. We then chose a Compassion child to sponsor. As we thank Jesus for our (sometimes interesting combination) supper each night that week, we pray for Ama and her family who might be going to bed hungry. The money we would have spent on groceries goes to our sponsor child and family. This week was our first week to try this....It's Thursday now, and I can definitely say that the cupboards are getting quite bare, but none of us are hungry. And we've spent the entire week praying, talking, and thinking about a seven year old girl in Ghana.

4. Spend time in another context.
We committed to spend one week, 2% of our time in Gospel ministry outside of Middle Tennessee. I'm somewhat limited to where and when I can go since I'll be nursing a baby for the next year, but I'm really excited that my husband will get to go anywhere. He could go to Africa, or Belgium, or Mexico, or even just Mississippi or Seattle...but I'm excited to see how God is going to change the other 98% of our time because of this 2%.

5. Commit my life to a multiplying community.
We're very excited to join forces with Life Point Church to serve God and change our community.

I'm so excited to see what God teaches up through these commitments and what other commitments he shows us along the way.

So if you've not read David Platt's Radical, I highly recommend it, but just be ready for your world to be ROCKED!

To opt-out or not to opt-out

I'm sure you all have heard about President Obama speaking to school aged children this coming Tuesday. Our school district is showing the speech in the classrooms but giving parents the option whether or not to have their children view it.

Evidently this is nothing new...Carter, Reagan, and George Bush all gave a speech to school children. Their addresses were on video tapes that were distributed to the schools. When I was in school (I sound like my dad now!), we didn't have a tv in every class room and the internet did not exist SO not every child in school was able to view those addresses.

With our current technology, all of the school children will be able to watch President Obama's speech live. That is an awesome opportunity for our children. About seven years ago I was able to see George W. speak in person at an NRB conference. Regardless of what I thought about him as a president, it was a really neat experience to see the President of the United States speak in person.

I would love for my child to experience a live speech from our president, but I do have a couple of problems with the situation.

First of all, Mara Lin's teacher has replaced me as the smartest woman in the world. I hear at least five or six times a day, "Ms. Cockrell says..." Mara really looks up to her and is very influenced by everything she says. (That's a good thing when she's trying to teach Mara to read or write or count.) A couple of questions on the government's list of suggested discussion questions both before and after the speech can be turned political very easily. I don't know Mara's teacher's political views but even if they were the same as mine, I would not want her to be influencing my child whether it be conservative or liberal....that's my job.

And finally, I do not trust President Obama to not have some hidden agenda with his speech. He seems to have a hidden agenda with everything else he does...one example being his healthcare plan to federally fund abortion....but I digress. I really don't want to get into a political debate here, I am just simply trying to figure out what is best for my child.

The government is releasing the entire content of the speech on Monday. I am waiting to read that and to talk to Mara's teacher about whether there will be any discussion in the classroom before I decide whether or not Mara will be viewing it at school. I'd love for Mara to see this speech and to see it live, but I am leaning towards opting out. If I do opt-out then we will watch the speech together Tuesday night as a family.

So that's my two cents. I would not advise any parent to opt their child out of watching the speech or advise any parent to allow their children to watch the president's speech. I would only advise every parent to be informed and choose what's best for their own family.

Boo!

Scared you, didn't I?!

You thought I had forgotten the url to my blog, huh?

Let me just tell you that life is kicking my booty. We're surviving but not really having fun yet. Sam is a fabulously easy-going baby, but a 5 yr old, 4 yr old, 3 yr old, and a newborn....yep, kicking my booty!

I have lots of pictures to share from the last month that I've been gone but will save those for separate posts so it looks like I'm blogging again.

Along with life inside my own house wearing me out, our church family has been dealing with a lot lately too. My pastor's father (and close family friend) passed away about three months ago and then shortly after that, we found out a sweet, sweet close friend has colon and liver cancer and is now going through chemo. As if that's not enough, my pastor's 17-year-old son died three weeks ago from injuries sustained in a car accident.

God has showed up amazingly within our church family.

I've definitely been saddened, disappointed, and even angry at God, but I know that God's will for my life is to be sanctified, be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in ALL circumstances (1 Thes. 4:3, 5:16-18). I exist for His glory, and even though it is hard to say, my children also exist for His glory.

I hold my children up to God with open hands wanting only His glory. I definitely could not have said that three weeks ago, but seeing my pastor praise God through the pain and wanting only His glory has taught me that God was waiting on me to surrender my hold on my children. They are not mine, they're God's. My single desire for their lives is to bring glory to God!

It's so good to be back blogging...putting my thoughts on 'paper' and helping to work through them in my own head. God is good and we are immeasurably blessed!

Mother's Day

I've had this post bouncing around my head for two years now (still CAN NOT believe that I've been blogging for two years!). It's actually been a 'draft' for a year now. I feel really strongly about this, but the problem is that I'm struggling to get it to come out right. Well, I'm going to stop revising it and just push post....so here goes!

I have such conflicting feelings about Mother's Day. I love my own Momma so much and love celebrating and honoring her every year...so in that view, I love Mother's Day.

As a woman who has struggled with infertility for many years, I know how painful Mother's Day can be. The pain of infertility is so deep and yet so silent...making it even deeper.

During my initial infertile years, I clung to my Jesus more than ever. I cried out to Him on a daily basis, and that was the only thing that brought peace during that time.

The problem is that even though Jesus was my only comfort, the church seemed to only deepen my pain on a day that was very painful to begin with. Every aspect of the service, as well as everything before and after the service on Mother's Day reminded me that I was not a mother. It was very tough to go to church on Mother's Day during those painful years.

I don't have anything against celebrating Mother's Day (and didn't during my initial infertile years...I've already said that I love celebrating my Momma....and I loved celebrating her during those years as well). I guess I just have a problem with celebrating Mother's Day on a corporate level. On Father's Day, most churches have 'regular' services which they add an "Oh by the way, Happy Father's Day" to it.

Well, I'm not sure if any of this is coming out right so I'll just shush for now. I guess what I really want you to know is that if you know any women struggling with infertility...just give her an extra hug and let her know you're praying for her this Mother's Day.

Just like God sees us!

Aren't you glad that God doesn't judge us from the outside? Thank you Susan Boyle for making me cry (which isn't really hard now a days!) and reminding me to look past the outside appearances of others just like my God does!

You'd better grab a kleenex first.

So what would be on your cardboard?
Mine could be any of these (and a dozen more too!)....
Shackled with unbelief....Freedom in Christ.
Swallowed with grief....Carried through by the God of the universe.
Hypocrite....Real in God's grace.
All talk....Serving in obedience.
Yep, I'm God's Mess too!

Ouch

This post by Jenni at One Thing is SO me. Yow, it stepped on my toes but thanks for calling me out Jenni!

Got my soapbox out!

I'm up on my soapbox over here today. Come let me know what you think.

A Secret

Mara Lin just walked up to me and said, "Momma, I have a secret for you."

"Oooo, Mara I love secrets. What's your secret?"

Brushing my hair off of my ear she whispered, "You're a great mommy, and God made you."

Oh I think my heart might have just burst.

Priceless!

Karen is hosting a photo contest at her blog. The theme is holiday cheer, and she's encouraging everyone to post a picture of your favorite holiday moments.

Well, the girls helped me put up my nativity scene this year. The wonder in their eyes was awesome. I'm going to cry just writing this!

So.....here's definitely my favorite holiday moment..... Can't you just see the excitement and adoration for that tiny baby Jesus in her eyes. Ahhhh, priceless!